Sea Otters: Dogs of the Ocean

Otters, the happiest little tootsie rolls, can be found on the Northern and Eastern Pacific Oceans coastlines. In case you thought these fatties were small, they can range anywhere from 50 to 100 lbs, making them the heaviest of the weasel family. They live in those magical kelp forests that we all wish we could call home. 90% of these fur logs live in Alaska, and I don't blame them; it's beautiful there. 

Mirror mirror on the wall, who's the hairiest of them all? The sea otter, of course! They have one million hairs per square inch, while we hairless babes have about 1,200. I maintain some DNA splicing, and we have got male patterned baldness solved. We wouldn't even need hats anymore! 

#hairybaby

Ladies, how many times do you wish your pockets were bigger? Well, if you were a sea otter, you would have BUILT-IN armpit pockets. Talk about evolution at its finest! These armpit pockets are perfect for storing snacks and the crafty log’s favorite meal cracking stone. I can't say armpit snacks seem all that appetizing, but hey, who am I to judge?

As the dog of the sea, you probably won't be surprised that these hunks of cuteness have a good sense of smell. Oddly it was a shock to scientists, who assumed they wouldn't have much range since they spend so much of their time underwater. But surprise, surprise, it turns out otters are way cooler than anything else ever.

#smellyoulater

These lil nuggets are the royalty of snacking and eat 25% of their body weight per day. Gotta keep warm in those chilly waters, am I right?

If you were trying to pick up that pandemic hobby, you can look to these ocean wizards to teach you how to juggle rocks. They like to toss them around in circles and all that jazz. They've got better hand-eye coordination than I ever will.  The article I read about their rock fun calls it "recreational rock juggling," and I think that's swell. 

Anywho, if you are looking for a water dog, but don't want an actual dog, you can get an otter—by that I mean look at them while they swim away. Let these babes swim free.